If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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