Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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