I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
