never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Two words: blizzard sex
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
