if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
