i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
