I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
