so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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