Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
