last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
