White coat. Heels.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
