You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
