a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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