it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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