If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
