Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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