Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
