Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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