Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
