White coat. Heels.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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