she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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