go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
