well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
