I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
