he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
