It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
