i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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