Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
