I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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