spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
