If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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