I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
