I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
