my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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