His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want to be your penis for a week.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
