nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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