At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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