Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
