So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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