It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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