I wish life had little blips of pornography
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
