A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
