Ambien. No doubt about it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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