Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
