How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
