thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
