I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
