You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
