Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
