Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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