So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
