I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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