I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Found the puke drawer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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